Michael and I celebrated 21 years of marriage last weekend and to top it off the kids were at camp. [Insert wild applause and celebration here] We thought it might be fun to interview each other on why we’re still in love after over 1,000 days in the same house.
Why We’re Still In Love…An Interview
Angela: What do you think the key to our success is?
Michael: We appreciate each other’s quirks and unique character attributes.
Angela: I’m pretty sure I’m quirk free, what could you possibly be referring to?
Michael: Well, for one, your relentless need to rank and categorize.
Angela: Oh, that. So, onto the next question: What are your five favorite things about me?
Michael: … I think I’ve answered this question a hundred times, but I’ll play along. I like that you have a sweet spirit, you are fun to be around, you have a beautiful smile, you embrace my “enhanced personality,” and you are fearless and bold about your dreams.
Angela: Well, I keep asking because you always come up with something new. My favorite things about you are your tenacious perseverance, your sense of humor, your thoughtful intelligence, the twinkle in your eyes, and your devotion to your family.
I have a question for both of us: In the next four years we will see both of the kids graduate from high school. How we will maintain our love and devotion to one another through such a big life transition?
Michael: We’ve always learned to appreciate each version of the other through the different stages of our lives. This next phase will be no different. Also, I plan on replacing my kids with dogs.
Angela: Clearly we’re going to have to talk about the dogs because took me 15 years to agree to one dog. I’m not sure the numbers are in your favor. But with that being said I agree with your answer. I’ll also add that we’re committed to encouraging our individual development as well as our growth as a couple. The two ideas support the overall mission of our marriage which is to empower each other to live with intention as we follow Christ.
Michael: I’ll ask the final question to both of us: Why are we still in love after 21 years of marriage?
Angela: First of all, you are consistently my favorite person in the room. You are my biggest champion, my best friend, and the love of my life. When things are hard (I mean let’s be real—nobody’s perfect), I have the choice to love you, believe the best about you, and decide to focus on all the little things that make you the one for me after all these years. What about you?
Michael: Part of it is choice, but the other part is just that loving you is inexorable. By which I mean that by being around you I can’t help but to love you. It’s like gravity. Or a bowl of M&M’s. Irresistible! Everything about you exudes warmth and joy, and that makes the choice easy.
We could probably talk forever about the details of making love last—laughter, commitment, quality time, listening, serving one another, genuine kindness…but to cap it off I’d like to encourage each couple to invest in prayer. Specifically praying that God would grow your capacity for gratitude and that He would help you to see your spouse as God sees them, a unique and treasured creation that you have the privilege of loving.
How long have you been married and what’s one key to sustaining love? If you’re not married, what do you see as the most important ingredient to successful loving relationships?