I want my kids to sin. Or more accurately, I know my kids will sin and I want them to teach them gospel of grace, repentance, and the power of forgiveness. I want them to know that conviction draws us closer to God and condemnation pushes us away from Him. I want them to know that when they make mistakes they have a safe place to fall. I will do as my parents did, refusing to shame them and instead teaching them God’s word, loving them unconditional, and guiding them through the minefields of this world.
I refuse to parent with the goal of my kids saying all the right things at all the right times. My goal is for them to be authentic, even when it’s uncomfortable. My goal is to raise adults who surrender their hearts to Jesus every day. My goal is inward transformation that may look messy and unpredictable along the way.
I’m not sure what happens when we become parents, but sometimes it’s really ugly. Our expectations are ridiculously high. We want them to be polite—every time. We want them to be kind—every time. We want them to obey—the first time, every time. And what if they are tired, angry, sad, hurting, or just plain sinful? Well there’s just no room for that.
The apostle Paul speaks to the struggle against our sinful nature in Romans saying:
Our stellar parenting doesn’t free our kids from sin: Jesus does. -Angela Howard Click To Tweet15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate…18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway…24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 7:15-25 (NLT) Read the full passage HERE.
Our stellar parenting doesn’t free our kids from sin: Jesus does. So to that end, I make the following commitments in prayer to my Savior, and I hope you will join me:
A Prayer and Commitment
Lord, you are the answer for my children. You are the only one who can free them from a life dominated by sin. You are the only one who can win their hearts so that they will surrender their lives each day to you. As their parent, I commit to point them your Word, your unchanging character and your love. I commit to honor their strengths, instead of focusing on their weaknesses. I commit to pray for their hearts, instead of focusing on their choice of hair style. I commit to teaching them more by what do, than what I say. Help me to remember that I am a sinner and need your grace and mercy. Show me how to model repentance, mercy, and redemption. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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For further reading on parenting check out my book: How to Love Your Crazy Family-52 Quick Read for No Ordinary Days
Carol says
Good thoughts – maybe it’s the whole pride thing but there comes a time when we don’t have the control over our children & what’s inside will come out in the open. So much better to teach into their lives when they are young & let them see their need for a Saviour.
Angela Howard says
Your comments made me think of Colossians 3:16: Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.
Thank you for reading and for sharing your heart Carol!
Liz Giertz says
OH, wow! This is good stuff here, Angela! How I wish my kids could be perfect, at least better than I was. How I pray they will know their Savior better, more intimately than, when they leave home. How I strive to ensure they understand what I never did. But only Jesus can do all that for them. I must simply trust that He loves them even more than I ever could. Blessings!
Angela Howard says
Thank you Liz. I agree–we can trust Jesus with our kids.
Tiffany Parry says
So much yes, Angela. While I don’t want to see my son hurt by the consequences of sin, and have the discussions about those now, I also know he’ll fall. My prayer is that when He does, He’ll remember Gods grace and quickly return to Him. Thankful for the opportunity to pint our kids to an honest relationship with a loving Savior.
Angela Howard says
Your thoughts echo mine Tiffany. Grace is greater than our sin. The more we model honest repentance, the better.