Driving down the road one day, Michael and I were discussing a parenting issue involving our son, Ben. Every few minutes, Emily, who was 10 years old at the time, kept piping up with her opinion on the situation. We finally said, “Emily this really isn’t any of your business.” She sighed, saying, “Fine, if you don’t want me to help you make Ben a better person! Whatever.”
Isn’t that what we think we’re doing sometimes, helping to make someone a “better person?” We all have our ideas of what that might be, especially for those closest to us. We’d like them to be more thoughtful, more intuitive, more flexible, or perhaps a little more like us.
I was definitely guilty of this in the early years of my marriage. I was convinced that if Michael could just be a little more of this…a little more that…we would be so much happier. It wasn’t until I started to love him unconditionally—truly unconditionally—that I saw the flaw in my thinking.
Transformation
Each one of us has the choice to submit ourselves to Jesus, and through that we experience transformation. We start seeing the fruit of a life grounded in something lasting: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. This is a soul revolution.
When we love one another, that frees the other person to become who God created them to be. When I stopped trying to make Michael a “better person” he felt secure and accepted. He knew that God was working in Him and I was standing shoulder to shoulder, on his side, cheering him on.
This side of eternity we aren’t going to attain complete wholeness. Why do we create an expectation for that, in ourselves, in our relationships, in our careers? This life is about transformation; becoming like Jesus, not being perfect. Not even being comfortable. So let’s lean into our Savior for lasting change, and let’s love one another. That’s truly the better way.
This life is about transformation; becoming like Jesus, not being perfect. –Angela Howard Click To TweetDear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 (NIV)
What is your prayer for transformation in your life and relationships? Comment below and I’ll pray for you.
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Doris Rody says
Thanks Angela it fit in very well with some teaching we have been having at church. Life really is about Love and Leaning in to Jesus so we can do it His way not our way. Blessings on you as you share His heart.
Angela Howard says
Thank you Doris! I love that God confirms His word to us in themes. I appreciate your encouragement.
MmrliRuddy says
I never thought about it from this perspective. We think we are doing the best thing and making our kids into better people. Maybe instead we are stifling the person they were meant to be with all our own views and opinions. It’s defiantly something I will be thinking about in my dealings with my daughter in the future. Thanks for giving me a different take on how I can communicate with her better. Great post.
Angela Howard says
I’m so glad you gained a new perspective. Praying God will guide you as you guide and direct your family.
MaryHill says
It is so important to remember Jesus is at work in the lives of our children. As parents, sometimes we need to have faith that He has them in the palm of His hand. Our job is to point them toward Him and let Him take over. Thanks for linking up with the #LMMLinkup this week.
Angela Howard says
Great insight Mary. Thank you for your comments!